pie

One of Zeno’s Paradoxes regarding time and motion reads that an object can never completely reach its destination. At the point at which the object reaches the halfway point, it still has half way to go. When it reaches its next halfway point, it continues to have half the distance remaining, and so on and so on.

No matter how close the object gets, it will have an increasingly infinitesimal (but still present) distance yet to go. If this were true, no one could ever go anywhere.

Why am I telling you this? Because I went to a dinner party this weekend and noticed a similar problem encountered relating to women’s consumption of communal desserts at dinner parties. We’ll call it Zeno’s Dessert Paradox.

In this model, a small lime pie was purchased and unwrapped after dinner. Four women, all drinking wine, were given forks and napkins and invited to dig in. At first, the pie consumption is normal - with all four participants eating a hearty and equal amount of lime pie. However, when the lime pie supply reaches one piece, consumption slows and the bites become slower and more deliberate.

When there is only one bite of pie left, one of the women will take half a bite and leave half, while also asking the other women if anyone else is interested in the last bite of pie.

When there is a half a bite of pie left, one of the other women will take half of the half, while also mentioning something about eating too much pie and also something about her thighs. And so on and so on.

By the end of the night, there will still be the smallest bite of pie you have ever seen still sitting in the pie plate, sometimes only visible by magnifying glass or sometimes electron microscope.

Then the hostess will say, “Does anyone want the last bite of pie?” and everyone will shake their heads and say, “Oh, no, I couldn’t, I’m stuffed.” Minutes later, someone will say, “I suppose I could take half of what’s left,” and go in with tweezers and reading glasses in order to extract half a crust crumb and a lime filling molecule.

Therefore, it is absolutely impossible for four women at a dinner party to finish a dessert. All four women can go home and assure themselves and their partners that although the company was wonderful and the food was excellent, they were good and couldn’t possibly finish their pie.

Paradoxically, however, four women at a dinner party seem to have no problem whatsoever finishing off several bottles of wine, down to the last drop.