Comments on: I kept my name. Deal with it. http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/ Sarah Aswell Thu, 20 Nov 2008 08:28:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: Angelina http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2296 Angelina Sat, 24 May 2008 16:08:45 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2296 I love this post. So well put! I have been fascinated with the whole name issue since I got married and took my husband's name and so many of my friends seemed to think it was so backwards of me and a semi-betrayal of our modern feminist ideals. Last names mean exactly nothing to me. I have had three of them before getting married because of my parents getting divorced and remarried. It is more meaningful for me to take my husband's last name than my father's last name, or my step father's last name, or my maternal Grandfather's last name. I don't actually care if other women choose differently but I can't claim to have no curiosity about it. I am always interested to know why they made their own different decisions and being a debating sort of idiot, I am always ready for a nice cozy debate about all the options we have, over just as many beers. It bothers me that people do get defensive over this issue. Why defensive? Isn't it cool that we have so many choices? I love this post. So well put! I have been fascinated with the whole name issue since I got married and took my husband’s name and so many of my friends seemed to think it was so backwards of me and a semi-betrayal of our modern feminist ideals.

Last names mean exactly nothing to me. I have had three of them before getting married because of my parents getting divorced and remarried. It is more meaningful for me to take my husband’s last name than my father’s last name, or my step father’s last name, or my maternal Grandfather’s last name.

I don’t actually care if other women choose differently but I can’t claim to have no curiosity about it. I am always interested to know why they made their own different decisions and being a debating sort of idiot, I am always ready for a nice cozy debate about all the options we have, over just as many beers.

It bothers me that people do get defensive over this issue. Why defensive? Isn’t it cool that we have so many choices?

]]> By: Bipolarlawyercook http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2269 Bipolarlawyercook Sun, 18 May 2008 23:19:11 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2269 When we got married, we both changed our names, to a name that had died out in the family when no sons carried it on. Now, two generations later, it will die again with us childless yuppies. It was more important to my husband than me to have the same last name-- but by the same token, he had no attachment to his own name, good egg that he is. But we both feel like we are each other's closest family in a sickeningly sweet/annoying kind of way, so it is nice to have the same last name. But I see your point, totally. When we got married, we both changed our names, to a name that had died out in the family when no sons carried it on. Now, two generations later, it will die again with us childless yuppies. It was more important to my husband than me to have the same last name– but by the same token, he had no attachment to his own name, good egg that he is. But we both feel like we are each other’s closest family in a sickeningly sweet/annoying kind of way, so it is nice to have the same last name. But I see your point, totally.

]]> By: Jason http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2187 Jason Sat, 10 May 2008 21:52:30 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2187 I once knew a couple who both changed their last names to "Hawke" when they got married, which was the third syllable of her last name. I once knew a couple who both changed their last names to “Hawke” when they got married, which was the third syllable of her last name.

]]> By: eema http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2176 eema Thu, 08 May 2008 20:21:35 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2176 Hi Sarah, When my husband and I married 9 years ago we exchanged names, meaning we combined both names together. You would think we had committed a crime! People could not deal with it. After many difficult applications and mean people at the DMV we had enough. About 4 years ago we changed it to his last name after much thought. The world wasn't ready for it! Plus I wasn't quite sure what our future kids would do with two last names. I am not sorry I took his name because I didn't really want my Father's name either. A name is just a name, but I feel it is a VERY personal decision and I think my hubby did a wonderful thing taking my name for a while. It is a strange world we live in isn't it? I HATE when they stop using the wife's first name! I really believe you have touched a sensitive subject that so many women (and men) deal with at some point in their lives. Thank you for your insights. Hi Sarah,

When my husband and I married 9 years ago we exchanged names, meaning we combined both names together. You would think we had committed a crime! People could not deal with it. After many difficult applications and mean people at the DMV we had enough.

About 4 years ago we changed it to his last name after much thought. The world wasn’t ready for it! Plus I wasn’t quite sure what our future kids would do with two last names.
I am not sorry I took his name because I didn’t really want my Father’s name either. A name is just a name, but I feel it is a VERY personal decision and I think my hubby did a wonderful thing taking my name for a while.

It is a strange world we live in isn’t it? I HATE when they stop using the wife’s first name!

I really believe you have touched a sensitive subject that so many women (and men) deal with at some point in their lives. Thank you for your insights.

]]> By: Stacey http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2173 Stacey Thu, 08 May 2008 16:20:16 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2173 I have this dream for my eventual marriage and family, and it goes like this - I keep my last name, which happens to go with my first two, thank you very much. My husband can do whatever he wants. Then the two of us pick out a totally ridiculous new last name for our kids. But I have a feeling this won't actually happen. Another option is to go Scandanavian. Like name your kids of the same sex according to your name (i.e., Jorth Fjordsson or Helga Jemmasdaughter). Mike also gets female product ads addressed to Ms Aswell, which I find hilarious. The unknown perils of Ms. I have this dream for my eventual marriage and family, and it goes like this - I keep my last name, which happens to go with my first two, thank you very much. My husband can do whatever he wants. Then the two of us pick out a totally ridiculous new last name for our kids. But I have a feeling this won’t actually happen.

Another option is to go Scandanavian. Like name your kids of the same sex according to your name (i.e., Jorth Fjordsson or Helga Jemmasdaughter).

Mike also gets female product ads addressed to Ms Aswell, which I find hilarious. The unknown perils of Ms.

]]> By: Andrew http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2166 Andrew Wed, 07 May 2008 20:36:59 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2166 Think like a mathematician! The problem with hyphonating names is that they become exponentially long: When Andrew x-y marries Heather xx-yy, the kids will be soandso x-y-xx-yy? p.s. I think I just gave far too much of my identity away. (and I therefor had to replace things with x's and y's because I think "what is your mother's maiden name" is the secret question to AT LEAST one of my hotmail accounts.) Think like a mathematician! The problem with hyphonating names is that they become exponentially long: When Andrew x-y marries Heather xx-yy, the kids will be soandso x-y-xx-yy?

p.s. I think I just gave far too much of my identity away. (and I therefor had to replace things with x’s and y’s because I think “what is your mother’s maiden name” is the secret question to AT LEAST one of my hotmail accounts.)

]]> By: Anna Carey http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2161 Anna Carey Wed, 07 May 2008 14:00:36 +0000 http://sarahaswell.com/2008/05/05/i-kept-my-name-deal-with-it/#comment-2161 I hate it when people use "Mrs. His Full Name" . Perhaps people are a bit put off when you tell them you aren't "Mrs. His Full Name" because they've already decided your name is unimportant. I'm not planning on changing my name when I get married next month. I probably won't correct people if they say "Chris and Anna Zelenak", and won't bother to correct people at a party if they called me "Anna Zelenak" unless I thought that they were people I'd see regularly. We decided to give our kids the middle name Carey. I hate it when people use “Mrs. His Full Name” . Perhaps people are a bit put off when you tell them you aren’t “Mrs. His Full Name” because they’ve already decided your name is unimportant.
I’m not planning on changing my name when I get married next month. I probably won’t correct people if they say “Chris and Anna Zelenak”, and won’t bother to correct people at a party if they called me “Anna Zelenak” unless I thought that they were people I’d see regularly.

We decided to give our kids the middle name Carey.

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